the slow crawl of life

my anxiety has been so bad lately. i feel a sense of impending doom every waking hour. i feel like there’s a presence in the room, malevolent, even when i’m alone. as i walk to work i feel my hands clenching, then loosening, then clenching. right now, i struggle to breathe. i want to cry. i think i just want release. the slow crawl of life as we keep marching on. being alive is so much effort. existence is painful. slowly, i forget how to be.