… and it makes me question if everything must be a performance. i’ve been slacking on my personal writing, the words that pour out for myself in my private journal. i haven’t written in my journal, i think, for maybe a month. and yet I’m posting on social media everyday, and yet this blog has been active, and yet I’ve started doing weekly vlogs on youtube, and yet and yet and yet performing for an audience, even if imagined (I have 1 view on my latest vlog and 3 subscribers on youtube) flows so naturally.
what is it about attention? why can’t i be content in myself? why, even when I’m talking TO MYSELF (because what else is personal essay writing? but navel gazing?), does it have to be public?
alas, here we are. here we are, here we are. i definitely am a quantity over quality girl.
a thank you to my readers over the years! a thank you to online space. a thank you to the homes i’ve made for myself in the CLOUD, and the clouds.
ah.
see you next time, I guess. I think I’m going to write in my journal tonight (but why did I have to announce it?)
gigiestee.com 